Kiss and Tell

I hope that the tabloids don’t find my ex-girlfriends
I hope that they don’t kiss and tell
I hope that if one day you do read about me
you’ll understand why I won’t tell as well

the nicest of break-ups is really quite nasty
they always tell all their friends
i know that the morsels are always so tasty
if it’s in the tabloids when will it all end?

if you think I’m lazy, thoughtless or clumsy
I hope that the money won’t tempt you to say
that I was just nasty or stupid and tuneless
that I was no good and probably gay

I hope that the tabloids don’t find my ex-girlfriends
I hope that they don’t kiss and tell
I hope that if one day you do read about me
you understand why I won’t tell as well
you’ll understand why I won’t kiss and tell